5/21/11 10pm
Those who receive the Gospel of Jesus Christ through the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, possess a comprehensive understanding of the emphasis placed on the family. The dictionary loosely describes the family in two ways;
a. a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not: the traditional family.
b. a social unit consisting of one or more adults together with the children they care for: a single-parent family.
Defined within the parameters of the Plan of Salvation, basically, the family unit, and the ward family. During Heather's surgery and recovery, both have been exceptional and absolutely essential. Our lives and well being have been sustained greatly by the love and charity of close family and friends. I understand and value the importance of the mother. However, long before the surgery the realization occurred; my best efforts in nurturing, support, and care for the children would not begin to approach the quality and efficiency maintained by Heather even in a debilitated state. The acceptance that your children will be negatively impacted in some way by the experience is painful. The focus promptly transitions to limiting such an impact. As posted previously, legions were organized and assembled to assist my family during a time of weakness and need. Priesthood blessings, visits from church leadership, offers to watch our children, and especially the nightly dinner meals are greatly appreciated and ensure our needs are met.
Thank you to the ward family for the love, consideration, and assistance. We have witnessed the Elders Quorum, Relief Society, and other groups at their finest. Excellent people and remarkable organizations to whom we are very grateful.
Thank you friends and extended family for your concern and prayers. The support and spirit certainly continue to be felt.
Lastly, thank you Martha McMullin (Heather's mother-in law) and Kathi Scott (Heather's mother) for managing and coordinating everything at home. Your kindness and efforts provided me the opportunity to accompany Heather in the hospital during the surgery and in-patient recovery; when she needed me most. I love you both and could not have attended to Heather appropriately without you.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Heather's Return (Home and Back to the ER)
5/20/11 8:00pm
"This is much more difficult than I ever thought it would be," Heather exclaimed once she regained her cognizance in the hospital. After returning home from the hospital Monday, Heather's condition steadily declined until she became virtually unresponsive Tuesday evening. The fear and adrenaline were consuming as I instinctively lifted Heather from the bed, carried her to the car, and drove her back the hospital Emergency Room (ER). The reason for not calling on an ambulance was the realization that she would have been rushed to the closest hospital, rather than Huntington Memorial where she received her surgery. Trust that with the speed I maintained she definitely arrived at Huntington Memorial, 16 miles away, faster than whatever wait/travel time was required for an ambulance to carry her to Foothill Hospital 3 miles away.
Life dictates certain experiences, however, the only worse scenario imaginable would be to witness the same with your child rather than a spouse. Though I consider myself a strong person, the anxiety and distress associated was difficult at times. An associate stated that and individual learns a lot about his/herself through such experiences. Personally, I have learned considerably more through Heather's surgery and recovery than my own. About myself, but also about family and friends.
Heather endured an additional two days in the hospital and returned home again around 8pm last night. Her condition is much improved and another visit to the ER is not anticipated. Heather was diagnosed with 'Chemical Meningitis.' Apparently, due to the excess swelling and fluid in the head following surgery, the brain reacts as if it is under attack from the real 'Viral/Bacterial Meningitis.' Similar symptoms are displayed including head pain, nausea, vomiting, lucidness, etc. as the body begins to 'shut down' certain functions. Left unaddressed, the condition may progress and inflict unconsciousness, seizures, coma, etc. even threaten ones life. However, we are confident and faithful the worst is behind Heather. Each new day will offer a marked improvement and time will heal all.
When Heather was readmitted to the hospital from the ER, she was placed in the Neurosciences and Stroke Center. Coincidently, the room provided was adjacent to Joshua's, who had been moved form ICU one day prior. Joshua is the young man to whom we extended a priesthood blessing in the ICU and who's family we shared so many special moments a with during Heather's initial recovery in the hospital. Yet another confirmation of the strength of the Lord and influence of the spirit. What are the odds? Knowing my presence was not positive, his mother stopped me in the corridor, immediately embraced me, and expressed concern. Appreciative, I inquired about Joshua and was pleased to learn of his progress since awaking from the coma on Monday. He is communicating somewhat normally and even walking with assistance in the hospital. I will continue to follow Joshua and his family, however, my heart is full in the knowledge he lived, will recover, and at age 29 has many cherished days ahead.
"This is much more difficult than I ever thought it would be," Heather exclaimed once she regained her cognizance in the hospital. After returning home from the hospital Monday, Heather's condition steadily declined until she became virtually unresponsive Tuesday evening. The fear and adrenaline were consuming as I instinctively lifted Heather from the bed, carried her to the car, and drove her back the hospital Emergency Room (ER). The reason for not calling on an ambulance was the realization that she would have been rushed to the closest hospital, rather than Huntington Memorial where she received her surgery. Trust that with the speed I maintained she definitely arrived at Huntington Memorial, 16 miles away, faster than whatever wait/travel time was required for an ambulance to carry her to Foothill Hospital 3 miles away.
Life dictates certain experiences, however, the only worse scenario imaginable would be to witness the same with your child rather than a spouse. Though I consider myself a strong person, the anxiety and distress associated was difficult at times. An associate stated that and individual learns a lot about his/herself through such experiences. Personally, I have learned considerably more through Heather's surgery and recovery than my own. About myself, but also about family and friends.
Heather endured an additional two days in the hospital and returned home again around 8pm last night. Her condition is much improved and another visit to the ER is not anticipated. Heather was diagnosed with 'Chemical Meningitis.' Apparently, due to the excess swelling and fluid in the head following surgery, the brain reacts as if it is under attack from the real 'Viral/Bacterial Meningitis.' Similar symptoms are displayed including head pain, nausea, vomiting, lucidness, etc. as the body begins to 'shut down' certain functions. Left unaddressed, the condition may progress and inflict unconsciousness, seizures, coma, etc. even threaten ones life. However, we are confident and faithful the worst is behind Heather. Each new day will offer a marked improvement and time will heal all.
When Heather was readmitted to the hospital from the ER, she was placed in the Neurosciences and Stroke Center. Coincidently, the room provided was adjacent to Joshua's, who had been moved form ICU one day prior. Joshua is the young man to whom we extended a priesthood blessing in the ICU and who's family we shared so many special moments a with during Heather's initial recovery in the hospital. Yet another confirmation of the strength of the Lord and influence of the spirit. What are the odds? Knowing my presence was not positive, his mother stopped me in the corridor, immediately embraced me, and expressed concern. Appreciative, I inquired about Joshua and was pleased to learn of his progress since awaking from the coma on Monday. He is communicating somewhat normally and even walking with assistance in the hospital. I will continue to follow Joshua and his family, however, my heart is full in the knowledge he lived, will recover, and at age 29 has many cherished days ahead.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Heather's Recovery (Update)
5/16/11 8pm
As much as we love Huntington Hospital and the nurses whom cared for us, today Heather is home. I am tired and she is exhausted. This morning Dr. Fineman removed the bandages from Heather's head, for which I thought I was prepared. Four long days after the operation tears filled my eyes and my throat clenched tight. The two six inch incisions required thirty five staples to close. Heather's remaining hair is matted and tangled with dried blood that cannot be cleansed for another many days. I love my wife and and feel devastated for her.
However, we consider ourselves truly blessed. With different employment and insurance would we have had the opportunity to realize the procedures? Once the new healthcare laws are completely enacted in the next few years, could we have received what are considered elective surgeries? Would we have been able to choose our surgeons and hospital? Of course our lives can always be more complex and difficult, and though I love the story of Job from the bible I do not envy his experience. Days, weeks, and months will pass and Heather's recovery will come. The maturity, knowledge, and testimony acquired will endure throughout life and the eternities.
Joshua DeGache received a miracle this day also. I sincerely believe it was directly tied to the priesthood blessing and the faith and acceptance of his family. Following the blessing two days ago, Joshua's activity level under the induced coma increased significantly, as if he was readying for the opportunity to recuperate. This morning the neurologist decided to reduce the Propathol (the drug that killed Michael Jackson) dosages merely to gauge Joshua's response, and he immediately awoke. After a torturous week without considerable progress or new information, relief and overwhelming emotion descended on his parents. The breathing tube was removed and they established limited and labored verbal communication. Their 29 year old, tattooed, tough Italian son asked immediately for his 'momma' then to go 'home.' True love, charity, and happiness is manifested little in life; the new spouse or child, the convert baptized into the church, and/or a reunion with old friends/family. However, today I witnessed the spared life of a loved one, potentially the purest of all.
I continue to pray for Joshua and his family, for my wife and her recovery, and for patience with my children and ability to fulfill both parental roles for a time.
As much as we love Huntington Hospital and the nurses whom cared for us, today Heather is home. I am tired and she is exhausted. This morning Dr. Fineman removed the bandages from Heather's head, for which I thought I was prepared. Four long days after the operation tears filled my eyes and my throat clenched tight. The two six inch incisions required thirty five staples to close. Heather's remaining hair is matted and tangled with dried blood that cannot be cleansed for another many days. I love my wife and and feel devastated for her.
However, we consider ourselves truly blessed. With different employment and insurance would we have had the opportunity to realize the procedures? Once the new healthcare laws are completely enacted in the next few years, could we have received what are considered elective surgeries? Would we have been able to choose our surgeons and hospital? Of course our lives can always be more complex and difficult, and though I love the story of Job from the bible I do not envy his experience. Days, weeks, and months will pass and Heather's recovery will come. The maturity, knowledge, and testimony acquired will endure throughout life and the eternities.
Joshua DeGache received a miracle this day also. I sincerely believe it was directly tied to the priesthood blessing and the faith and acceptance of his family. Following the blessing two days ago, Joshua's activity level under the induced coma increased significantly, as if he was readying for the opportunity to recuperate. This morning the neurologist decided to reduce the Propathol (the drug that killed Michael Jackson) dosages merely to gauge Joshua's response, and he immediately awoke. After a torturous week without considerable progress or new information, relief and overwhelming emotion descended on his parents. The breathing tube was removed and they established limited and labored verbal communication. Their 29 year old, tattooed, tough Italian son asked immediately for his 'momma' then to go 'home.' True love, charity, and happiness is manifested little in life; the new spouse or child, the convert baptized into the church, and/or a reunion with old friends/family. However, today I witnessed the spared life of a loved one, potentially the purest of all.
I continue to pray for Joshua and his family, for my wife and her recovery, and for patience with my children and ability to fulfill both parental roles for a time.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Heather's Recovery
5/14/11 8:30pm
In preparation for the surgery and the most traumatic experience of her life, months ago Heather dyed her hair dark. She cried, but I actually prefer the color to blond. In her pre opp appointment with her surgeon, Dr. Fineman, I explained that the actual success of Heather's recovery was directly tied to the amount of hair loss required for the procedure. Dr. Fineman laughed, however, no truer truth has ever been spoken.
Post opp I can honestly say, Heather is going to be pissed. She is recovering well and walking laps around the fourth floor of the hospital. Daily the pain subsides and the levels of the various medications are reduced. But the devil will have nowhere to hide when she attempts to style the hair shaved half way up the back of her head like a troubled middle school teen.
Heather receives visits daily from friends and family. She is at Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena, CA, Room E440. Peculiarly two doors down from Room E442, my recovery location following my spinal fusion in December of last year (it is far to soon to constantly view that room each day). It is awesome to witness the compassion of organizations and individuals when the need is manifested. When mother is incapacitated, legions amass and the assistance is staggering. Why? Because that is what it takes. The effort definitely equals the task. In contrast when I received my surgery, other than family only one person visited me in the hospital (you know who you are). A lot unexpected, however, different roles dictate a dissimilar response... that or I need to make a more substantial effort to make some friends.
Dr. Fineman anticipates Heather will be discharged from the hospital possibly tomorrow, definitely Monday. I will be by her side at the hospital until then.
During Heather's tenure in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) immediately following surgery, I became acquainted with the DeGache family. Their son Joshua, age 29, contracted Meningitis and after a few seizures was placed under a controlled/induced coma since 5/10/11. With little more information to date, the family lives in the hospital with the hope that Joshua's strength and youth will kill the viral infection prior to the coma being lifted by the doctors. Perspective is everything, and leaning on one another in the waiting room during hours of restricted visitation, bonds are formed. I continue to feel legitimately concerned for Joshua, and they for Heather. We have shared pleasantries, stories, laughs, prayers, and food. However, today the opportunity was presented to share far more, the spirit and priesthood. Following a visit by our loving Bishop Lemmon and his wife, I asked that he accompany me for an introduction to the DeGache family and an offering of a priesthood blessing for their son. The family readily accepted the invitation and Joshua's mother promptly inquired, "why didn't you say something sooner?!" I apologized and explained sarcastically that I wasnt necessarily dressed for the occasion (I packed nothing but athletic shorts with a loud patterns and reef sandals). Though ICU typically allows only (2) individuals into the recovery rooms at a time, an exception was made for 'clergy.' The boy's father, mother, and step-mother were able to witness the blessing and were pleased with the sweet words uttered. As the blessing was extended, Joshua became more active than the family had seen since the coma was induced. With our hands on his head he motioned against the nylon restraints firmly as if desiring to leave hospital bed. Unfamiliar individuals brought together through extremely unfortunate circumstances embraced and the family extended its gratitude. I sincerely love the gospel and the capacity to offer support and benefit to people found in otherwise helpless situations. I later explained to Joshua's father that I could not sit by truly listening, sympathizing, and caring, then not offer that which was within my purview to provide.
I continue to concern myself with Joshua and follow up on his condition and progress.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Heather's Surgery (Update)
5/13/11 1:30pm
I apologize to all those that might have tried to glean information on Heather's status after surgery from the So Cal McMullins blog. Blogger was down last night when I tried to post an update and even deleted the pre surgery post I had written (I reposted it this morning).Heather's surgeon, Dr. Igor Fineman, is an interesting individual and is different in many ways from my spine surgeon Dr. William Costigan. However, they both share an extreme confidence in their approach and ability. When I explained to Costigan following my surgery that the nerve pain was gone he responded, "of course it is, you think I am a hack?... pretty cool huh?" After Heather's surgery, with more of a quiet demeanor, Fineman said, "the surgery went perfectly." I like that word and do not believe there is a better word to describe the outcome of major surgery.
Heather continues to recover from what was obviously a very stressful and taxing experience for her person. She was moved to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) area immediately after the operation, which apparently is standard for any type of surgery involving the brain. Initially she was very pale and non responsive due to the anesthesia and continuous pain medications. However, despite the pain Heather appeared peaceful. Maybe somewhat relieved that after the many challenges our family has endured, in continuation each day is expected to improve the situation. Following a sleepless night of medical equipment sounds, nurse checks, and discomfort, today she is much more active. She communicates fine when not resting and has even stood, walked, and sat in a chair adjacent to the hospital bed.
A precautionary CT Scan earlier was negative and confirmed everything is as it should be. Heather will move from ICU to the normal recovery unit this afternoon and is anticipated to improve a bit each day.
Heather's Surgery
5/12/11 11:00am
Heather asked that I update the family blog with information regarding her surgery today. At first I thought it an odd request that so many friends and family would request a play-by-play. However, it occurred to me that it would be quite a bit simpler than texting everyone, potentially leaving people out, and that there would definitely be time to pass.
Currently, Heather is being prepared for surgery. She is nervous, but after a priesthood blessing last night she feels a certain amount of comfort. It is sometimes difficult to balance the uncertainty of such a delicate procedure and the risks associated with the faith, knowledge, and spiritual confirmation of a positive outcome. There are definitive benefits that accompany membership in the Lord's church and a personal witness that Jesus is the Christ, our Savior.
Having experienced spinal fusion surgery five short months ago, the apprehension and waiting is the second worst part of such major surgery. Severe pain following the surgery is the first.
To summarize the procedure for those who have not been so informed, basically the rear lobes of Heather's brain have descended and the base of her skull is pressing them into the spinal cavity and against the spinal cord. The condition is called Chiari I and symptoms include severe headaches, numbness of arms and hands, vertigo, and blurred vision. Left unaddressed, the symptoms progress and may become permanent. As I understand it, the correction is three part; first, a laminectomy, or removal of the back part of the spinal vertebra covering the spinal cord, is performed on the upper most C1 vertebra; second, a small portion of the base of the skull is removed; third, a graft of the patients dura, or natural material covering the skull, is sewn into the location. The purpose is to create a 'soft' support for the descended lobes and allow the spinal fluid to flow freely in and around the spinal cord and brain. Consider though, that the measurements are in millimeters and the procedure is performed under the microscope. The descension of the lobes and surgical corrections are actually very minute.
It is fortunate and somewhat of a blessing that Chiari I is a physical condition as opposed to a more complicated disease such as cancer. Once the procedure is completed and the issue corrected, Heather is anticipated to make a full recovery and all symptoms will be reversed.
Heather and I appreciate the concern and well wishes of our many friends and family. I will continue to update this blog with the status of the surgery and subsequent recovery. The operation is expected to require four hours, until 5pm PT. Please continue to keep Heather in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Blessings 5/7-5/9
5/7
Being with my family was my blessing today.
5/8
Mother's Day!!! There are few greater blessings than that of being a Mother to three kiddos. I love them with every part of me. I can honestly say that every day of their lives I have cherished. I love to have them around and as close to me as possible.
One of my favorite things is to watch what happens when I am cleaning. As I move from room to room they all gravatate towards me. I don't even think they know when they are doing it.
My favorite parts of my day are snuggling my princess to sleep, picking up my buddies from school and when Cade gets home from work. I love when we are all together. As a matter of fact I am taking the boys out of school tomorrow just so I can spend the whole day at Disneyland with them before my surgery. They are both doing so amazing at school so I figured a day off wouldn't hurt. So grateful for them.
5/9
Today I am grateful for my Mama and Sister. They have been by my side every day. When something so scary is about to happen in your life distractions help so much. It helps to fill the down time when your mind can wander.
Honestly though I have an overwhelming sense of peace. Still scared, but peaceful and besides that I don't think I have any more tears to shed. I have cried way to many times to admit. I think having gone through this pain I will be able to truly understand other's trials of physical pain. When there is something wrong with you health wise it is really hard. It affects you every minute of every day and you still have to find a way to dig deep and live.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Blessings 5/1-5/6
I haven't written my blessings for a few days. Sunday was Cade's birthday. It was so fun to celebrate with family. He is the biggest blessing of my life. My rock and the most amazing person I have ever met. Not only is he recovering from back surgery he has a full time job, has 3 kids, is going to MBA school and has a wife with a huge brain that needs surgery. He has all of these things on his shoulders and not only does he manage them well, he excels. I admire him in every way. He is the love of my life and my very best friend.
One day when he was in bed recovering from his surgery he called me in our room and played this song for me. He said, "This is our song right now. We can't stop the rain, but we have each other." Here is the song. I hope that if you are going through something you have someone like my Cade and if not just know that the Savior can be that person.
It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It’s breaks your will
It feels like that
You think your lost
But your not lost on your own
Your not alone
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
If you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go
It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it’s dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we’re too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let you fall
Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It wont get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it
Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go
Oh I’m gonna hold you
And I wont let go
Wont let you go
No I wont
Rascal Flatts – I Won’t Let Go
Sunday, May 1, 2011
IMG00358-20110501-2300.jpg
Blessings 4/27-4/30
4/27 Wednesday
Just grateful I got through the day. It was hard one.
4/28 Thursday
My symptoms have gotten worse, so today I had to go in for another MRI. Which was torture! I am not claustrophobic at all, but after 1 hours and 30 minutes in that machine I was going crazy. The last 20 minutes were brutal. I started getting flashes of anxiety. I was a good patient though and stayed still.
My Mom was so wonderful and took Carter to his baseball game and watched all three kids until Cade got home. With so many doctor appointments it gets crazy, but at the same time they are a HUGE blessing. What would we do with out the amazing doctors out there. We are so blessed to live in a time with such wonderful technology and intelligent people who want to be doctors.
4/29
Ever since I was a teenager I have been told that we are the chosen generation. Time and time again we were told this. One memorable time was at EFY. That has always stuck with me. I haven't really thought about it much until this week.
So many of my friends in the church are going through really tough hard trials. Trials that don't seem fair or last a long time. Cade and I have been going through really hard trials for about 3 years now and we won't be out of the woods for at least another year. I have this theory that the saints are being tried and tested so the Lord will know who the strong and faithful are. Who can with stand the worst of trials and yet still remain faithful. What if being the chosen generation means that we will be alive when He comes again to the earth?
So I ask you this, if you knew He was coming with in your life time and trials that seemed to hard to bear came. How would you react then? Would you remain faithful? Would the trials that came make you go inactive, leave the church? Or would the knowledge that Christ's second coming would come with in your life time be enough to make your faith stronger?4/30
Saturday's for us always start early. BASEBALL!!! Carter has a game almost every Saturday at 8am. We love it. When he gets on the baseball field he just beams. After the game the kids and I went down to the beach so Cade could study. (MBA)
When I was sitting on the beach watching my kids my head was pounding out of my mind. (When I sit or lay down it gets worse.) Then I started to feel a little sorry for myself and aggrivated. That is until I looked over and saw a gentleman who was quadriplegic. He was in a wheel chair, going down the pier. Enjoying the beach the best way that he was able to.
Instantly I felt foolish for my thoughts of feeling sorry for myself. Here was a man who had barely any function of his body yet he was out there experiencing life.
There is no cure for him.
As painful as my condition is and my brain surgery will be, there IS a cure for me. I am grateful that this is my trial and that being quadriplegic isn't. I thank my Heavenly Father for that beautiful moment of insight.
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