Saturday, April 30, 2011
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Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Blessings
4/25
Driving home on Sunday night from my parents house my mind started to wander. It would be different if all I had to worry about is myself. I have three of the most amazing kids to worry about. I tried to stop thinking the worst, but for some reason when I play classical music (I play classical music when I am driving late for my kids to fall asleep to) my mind wanders.
First it wandered to how amazing my life is. I really do have the most amazingly blessed life. Then it wandered to I am not ready to leave this life. NOT READY. At the very least I want to be alive long enough to see all my kids get married in the temple. That is all I ask. The deepest wish of my heart. Every minute of every day I try my hardest to be positive, but sometimes my worries get the better of me.
The Lord knew it.
When I was almost home I got such a sweet letter from one of my dearest friends Brooke Anderson. I love that girl so much. She listened to the prompting she got and sent me a quick email. It was just what I needed to stop the negative thinking, put my brave face back on and keep going.
In moments like these it feels like Heavenly Father is putting his arms around you. You can almost feel it. If you don't think he is mindful of you and your specific situation then you aren't listening close enough. He lives. He is our Father. He loves each and every one of us. Listen.
If you let Him he will carry you through the toughest of times. Reminds me of the poem Footsteps.
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
Mary Stevenson, 1936
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Lord Is My Light
This Easter this is the testimony I wish to share with my children. It was the perfect lesson for me today at church. Through hard times the Lord is my light. My faith HAS to be stronger than my sight. I know everything will be ok, but that doesn't make it any less terrifying. That is where my faith and the Lord steps in to make up the difference where I cannot. Happy Easter!
1. The Lord is my light; then why should I fear?
By day and by night his presence is near.
He is my salvation from sorrow and sin;
This blessed assurance the Spirit doth bring.
[Chorus]
The Lord is my light;
He is my joy and my song.
By day and by night he leads,
He leads me along.
2. The Lord is my light; tho clouds may arise,
Faith, stronger than sight, looks up thru the skies
Where Jesus forever in glory doth reign.
Then how can I ever in darkness remain?
3. The Lord is my light; the Lord is my strength.
I know in his might I’ll conquer at length.
My weakness in mercy he covers with pow’r,
And, walking by faith, I am blest ev’ry hour.
4. The Lord is my light, my all and in all.
There is in his sight no darkness at all.
He is my Redeemer, my Savior, and King.
With Saints and with angels his praises I’ll sing.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Fw:
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Fw:
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Fw:
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Fw:
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Friday, April 22, 2011
Blessings
4/21
When we go through trials I wonder, are we learning the lesson that is being taught to us? Today I am grateful that I am listening and trying to learn. Trying to be better
4/22
Today I have my neuro appointment. My Mom came to help out with the kids and I have a had a few hours to clean the house and think. For those of you who have had health problems you know that every day is struggle. You can either let it eat you alive or put your brave face on and tackle life despite the pain. That is exactly what I have chosen to do. I have three kids and a husband that I can't let down. And let's face it, it could be worse.
Have you ever heard of the Invisible Children? They are children in Africa that get kidnapped by general Josepy Kony, to fight in his rebel army. To escape this they leave their villages and walk all night. Finally exhausted they find some where to sleep and are literally body to body. There is barely room for all of them to sleep. Can you even imagine what life must be like for these children. They live in fear every minute of every day. Fear of being kidnapped. Fear of being killed.
Knowing this makes what I am going through a piece of cake. Trial though it be, I am grateful this is my trial and not the more difficult trials of others. So brave face it is. At night when my babies go to bed I take it off or a while, but in the morning it is right back ok. Happily.
** So I have a little confession to make. Yesterday the day began pretty good. Than I went to my neuro apt and he told me that we might have to move the surgery up because of all the new symptoms that I have developed. When I got out of my appointment I called Cade and just cried. The ugly cry.
Doesn't my doctor and my brain know that I have a plan. The date I chose for my surgery was July 7th for a number of reasons. #1 Cade is still recovering from his BACK SURGERY. #2 My kids will be out of school. #3 I would still be able to go to Lake Powell. I chose that date because it made sense for my family. That is when I wanted to do it.
Cade quickly reminded me that it is in the Lord's time. Not ours. It is hard to accept that sometimes. Mom's aren't allowed to get sick. Mom's aren't allowed to be hurt, but this Mom is. So my stress level is through the roof. Time for a little more prayer. Times like this is when you cover your eyes, stretch out your hand and let Heavenly Father lead the way. For someone who likes to be in control that is not so easy. **
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Blessings
4/20
I had two friends reach out to me today. Stephanie Jensen and Angie Pope, I hope you know how much I love you and how much that meant to me. One thing is for certain I don't feel as if I am in this alone. It sort of feels like the wagons are circling around me. That is such a blessing.
The best part of having something wrong with you is that you get to see the very best parts of your friends and family. The very best of each one of them shines. I always new I had the most amazing friends and family. Now I am certain of it.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Blessings
4/19
Physically today wasn't so bad. Days like this are so much easier to get through. Better yet my Mom came to visit. Some days we help each other feel better. I don't know if I was much help to her, but my babies sure loved that she came.
Today I am grateful for our families commitment to the gospel. Until recently I haven't really felt discrimination, resistance, or the need to really stand strong in our beliefs. Cooper is starting football soon and we have already had to stand strong. Before we even signed up we talked to the coaches and made sure that Cooper would not be punished for not playing the Sunday games. That of course means that he would have to miss 4-5 games. I really appreciate the fact that the coaches were willing to respect that. There were also a few other instances. I don't want to hash it all out here, but suffice it to say Cade had to stand strong again. Not in an in your face way, in a strong matter of fact way. Again the other coaches respected that and in some cases a friend defended him before Cade had to say something.
What I find more and more is that this is going to happen time and time again in life. In the work place, among friends, in sports...etc... What is important is that our standards must not change. Ever. No matter what.
In the work place Cade's co-workers know that he doesn't drink. Because he has already established this as his standard, they respect him for it, and don't even ask him if he wants a drink. I think some people feel as if they have to change their standards to get a promotion or to fit in, in a situation. Quite the opposite. Heavenly Father will bless us if we stand strong. I am so grateful for a family and friends who stay strong in their convictions. It is such a good example to my babies and I. I am blessed to have such people in my life.
Blessings
Friday4/15
I was getting the kids ready on Friday morning. It was a busy morning as usual. I was still sort of recovering physically from feeling so poorly the day before and then my Mom showed up. I can't even tell you how much I needed her to be there on Friday. Some days are just harder than others and Friday was one. I am so grateful for a Mom who listens to the spirit and just shows up when she feels she needs to.
I wanted to cry when I saw her, but I had to hold it in because my babies were all around me. They don't know anything is wrong with me. When Cade had his back surgery they were all so worried about him. Cooper couldn't sleep the night before his surgery and was absolutely hysterical. Because of that we have chosen not to tell the kids until after I come out and am ok.
I am so grateful for my Mom. I love her so much.
Saturday 4/16 and Sunday 4/17
Cade and I decided we needed a break this weekend so we took off to Newport. My parents live a hop skip and a jump away from the beach and it is so fun and relaxing. It was just what we needed to recharge and face the week ahead of us. I am so grateful that they are always willing to let all 5 of us stay there as long as we like.
My babies love it there too. Saturday was actually the first warm day at the beach and we took full advantage of it. Crab catching and all.
Monday 4/18
I usually don't like rain at all. It traps you inside all day long. With kids that can get loud and messy. But it makes me slow down. Which I usually hate, but with my brain the way it is, it is a good thing for me to do. So far I have utterly refused to let it slow me down. Over my dead body am I going to let my brain tell me that I can't do things that I normally do. That is why I still work out every day even though it hurts really bad. I realize this is a bad attitude, but it is part of how I get through every day. So when my brain and the weather make me slow down I have no choice in the matter.
In situations like this I stomp my feet, cross my arms, and say FINE! All you can do from there is make the best of it. So I got a little cleaning done and we watched The Guardians and after dinner we watched The Mummy Returns #3. I love those movies.
The best part was that I got snuggles from my babies. I love when they smash their bodies against mine in an effort to get as close as they can. It is one of the things in life I treasure most. They are such a blessing in my life.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Blessings 4/14/11
Today was really hard. In fact I barely made it through the day. Today the Lord has definitely blessed me with inner strength. In fact that has been a huge blessing that Cade and I have been blessed with for the past couple of years.
One night as we were talking about all of the things that have been happening we asked ourselves, "What would it take to break us??" Because by now I think most people would have been broken. The only answer to this question is that we have stayed close to the Lord. When things get tough you have to grasp on to that iron rod for dear life.
The second blessing is that of my husband. I love him so much. When I got home from Carter's baseball game as soon as I walked in the door I looked at him and said, "I can't give them a bath and put them to bed." I literally didn't have an ounce of physical strength left to give. He got up bathed the kids and put them to bed with out even complaining about it. At 7pm he tucked all three kids and I into bed. With out him I am pretty sure I couldn't go through this. He is amazing in every way.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Count Your Many Blessings
The minute Cade and I open out eyes physical pain is there. I can make a huge, long list of all the trials were are going through at once. Sometimes we are lucky we made it through the day. We are both in a lot of pain so when one of us is hurting worse than the other, the person who is hurting a little less takes care of the other.
For the last 2 months Cade would rub my neck every night to help loosen up the muscles. He always takes such good care of me. About a week ago he went off all of his pain medications. With drawls are something that I don't wish upon anyone. It has been my turn to take care of him. And so it goes back and forth like this. It just depends on the day.
We have tried and tried to stay positive and keep plugging along. Doing our best and most of the time we succeed. This morning was really difficult. We had a lot of new things weighing on our minds. But we got up and got ready. Maybe with not the best of out looks.
In a priesthood session of conference one year, Cade told me that the message was that we need to put forth more effort and do more than the previous generation did to teach our children to be faithful members of the church. Basically this generation needs to step up. I have thought about this a lot and one of the things that I have been doing this year is reading a story out of the Friend magazine while my kids are eating breakfast every morning. I have to get up earlier to do this, but it has been so worth it and has strengthened my children's testimonies and helped them stay strong even when friends at school are doing things they shouldn't.
When I was reading this morning the story from President Henry B. Eyring was meant for me. I was reading it to my children, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. The story is called Count Your Blessings. I have the talk at the end of this post. I have decided I am going to follow his advice and work even harder at having a positive frame of mind. I know I can accomplish this if I count the blessings that Heavenly Father has given me that day. I am going to start tonight.
Count Your Blessings by President Henry B. Eyring
Forgetting God has been a problem among His children since the world began. Think of the times of Moses, when God provided manna and in miraculous and visible ways led and protected His children. Still the prophet warned the people: "Take heed...lest thou forget things which thine eyes have seen." (Deut 4:9)
Find ways to recognize and remember God's kindness. It will build our testimonies. You remember that song we sometimes sing: "Count your blessings; name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done."
When our children were very small, I started to write down a few things about what happened every day. I never missed a day no mater how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: "Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?" As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.
The Holy Ghost helps us see what God has done for us. I testify that God loves us and blesses us more than most of us have yet recognized. I know that is true, and it brings me joy to remember him.
1. Place a notebook, or journal and a pen or pencil by your bed.
2. Each night before you pray and go to bed, write down: The date, two or three good things that happened that day, How you think these good things are blessings from Heavenly Father
3. When you pray, be sure to thank Heavenly Father for the good things you remembered. You can also tell your family members about the blessings you found.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Happy Birthday to Kevin and Kendra and Kino Visit!
Reagan and I crashed Kevin's Birthday Dinner at Benihana aka The HappiestPlace On Earth. It was nice to spend some time with him.
This was a picture of the picture that Benihana takes for a birthday.
Grandma feeding Kino. It was so good to see Kino and Kendra. We missed Chris, but he was back in IL working. I think I gave Kino a million kisses and snuggles. I am just glad he lets me.
Reagan and Auntie Kendra
The youngest two of the family. Don't they have such pretty teeth!
Love these two.
The whole group.
This picture cracks me up. It looks like I am biting Kino on the shoulder! I swear I am not! I don't even remember him crying! HAHA! 
My cute Mama
My cute baby
My cute Dad and Baby girl
There we go! See he really was happy when I was holding him. He is the cutest, sweetest baby boy in the whole wide world and I love that little guy sooooooooo much. I love you to Chris and Kendra, but this baby boys of yours melts my heart!! Come back soon! Last week when we were saying morning prayers before school Carter was saying the prayer and he said, "Please bless that Kino will come and see us soon." How cute is that! He prayed that he would see Kino soon! He has everyone wooped!
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