Driving home on Sunday night from my parents house my mind started to wander. It would be different if all I had to worry about is myself. I have three of the most amazing kids to worry about. I tried to stop thinking the worst, but for some reason when I play classical music (I play classical music when I am driving late for my kids to fall asleep to) my mind wanders.
First it wandered to how amazing my life is. I really do have the most amazingly blessed life. Then it wandered to I am not ready to leave this life. NOT READY. At the very least I want to be alive long enough to see all my kids get married in the temple. That is all I ask. The deepest wish of my heart. Every minute of every day I try my hardest to be positive, but sometimes my worries get the better of me.
The Lord knew it.
When I was almost home I got such a sweet letter from one of my dearest friends Brooke Anderson. I love that girl so much. She listened to the prompting she got and sent me a quick email. It was just what I needed to stop the negative thinking, put my brave face back on and keep going.
In moments like these it feels like Heavenly Father is putting his arms around you. You can almost feel it. If you don't think he is mindful of you and your specific situation then you aren't listening close enough. He lives. He is our Father. He loves each and every one of us. Listen.
If you let Him he will carry you through the toughest of times. Reminds me of the poem Footsteps.
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
Mary Stevenson, 1936
1 comment:
Heath-
I am so sorry. You are doing an awesome job. You can do this and Heavenly Father is right there with you. I am sure of it. I remember one night standing out side of the door as one of my babies cried themselves to sleep. I was right outside the door, crying right along with her thinking, "It's okay. I'm right here." I think that it must be a little bit of how our Heavenly Father feels when he see's us struggling. He is right outside the door telling you everything is okay. Hang in there. I love you. I'm thinking of you all the time and praying for you.
xoxoxox
Post a Comment