Blessings

4/21

When we go through trials I wonder, are we learning the lesson that is being taught to us? Today I am grateful that I am listening and trying to learn. Trying to be better

4/22

Today I have my neuro appointment. My Mom came to help out with the kids and I have a had a few hours to clean the house and think. For those of you who have had health problems you know that every day is struggle. You can either let it eat you alive or put your brave face on and tackle life despite the pain. That is exactly what I have chosen to do. I have three kids and a husband that I can't let down. And let's face it, it could be worse.

Have you ever heard of the Invisible Children? They are children in Africa that get kidnapped by general Josepy Kony, to fight in his rebel army. To escape this they leave their villages and walk all night. Finally exhausted they find some where to sleep and are literally body to body. There is barely room for all of them to sleep. Can you even imagine what life must be like for these children. They live in fear every minute of every day. Fear of being kidnapped. Fear of being killed.

Knowing this makes what I am going through a piece of cake. Trial though it be, I am grateful this is my trial and not the more difficult trials of others. So brave face it is. At night when my babies go to bed I take it off or a while, but in the morning it is right back ok. Happily.

** So I have a little confession to make. Yesterday the day began pretty good. Than I went to my neuro apt and he told me that we might have to move the surgery up because of all the new symptoms that I have developed. When I got out of my appointment I called Cade and just cried. The ugly cry.

Doesn't my doctor and my brain know that I have a plan. The date I chose for my surgery was July 7th for a number of reasons. #1 Cade is still recovering from his BACK SURGERY. #2 My kids will be out of school. #3 I would still be able to go to Lake Powell. I chose that date because it made sense for my family. That is when I wanted to do it.

Cade quickly reminded me that it is in the Lord's time. Not ours. It is hard to accept that sometimes. Mom's aren't allowed to get sick. Mom's aren't allowed to be hurt, but this Mom is. So my stress level is through the roof. Time for a little more prayer. Times like this is when you cover your eyes, stretch out your hand and let Heavenly Father lead the way. For someone who likes to be in control that is not so easy. **